Halcyon Days (The Perks Of Being A Paragon)

Issue #3: Paradise Found Part 1 - Please Patrol

Acting on a ‘lead’ from Norman, The Bold embark on their first Patrol. They learn much through trial and error; Foremost being the universal rule of every patrol and stakeout: Everything is incredibly boring and uneventful… until it isn’t.


I totally broke up with Norman. Like, blew him up from space to be sure, broke up. I can’t believe what a bitch I was.

He asked me to ask the team to investigate Mr. Please down at the docks. I meant to, but I forgot about it with all the more exciting stuff happening at school. I didn’t remember until I saw his blog post when he went to go prowling around on his own.

What if he’d found something and gotten himself kidnapped? Or killed? He’s not a hero. He shouldn’t be poking around things like that. I felt like he was taking stupid risks because he believed I would save him if things went bad. I can’t have people doing that. I wouldn’t be able to live with it if I failed to save them when it mattered.

So, I asked the team if they wanted to check it out. Everybody was interested except for Kid Dynamo. He’s trying so hard to pretend he’s weak and powerless because he’s scared of his powers that he’s turning himself into a coward. He didn’t want to do anything during Capture the Flag, and he didn’t want to even patrol, so I ripped into him about being a hero.

After that, we jumped down to the docks and started looking around. Turns out, crime isn’t as easy to just find when you walk around in the dark wearing your super-hero costumes. We looked around for a while, and found nothing, so we went to eat dinner at the Terrible Tuna. I invited Norman to join us.

He wouldn’t let it go, and he made it sound like the only reason he wanted to date me was so he could get scoops on interesting stories. It’s not like he ever says “I love you.” And, come to think of it, I don’t say it to him either. So, right there in the restaurant, I interrupted his blathering to break up. It was brutal.

I shouldn’t have done it like that, but it got us an audience with Mr. Please, who found it hilarious. He confessed to being a crime lord, but made it sound like he’s made the docks a safer place. We could turn him in to the police, but he’s been through that before and has walked away.

The whole team watched me break up with him like that. They watched me tell him I didn’t love him, and he didn’t love me, and that he was only using me for stories. I didn’t tell him that not being my boyfriend would make him safer, or the part about him not taking risks because of being sure I’d save him. I just crushed him.

The creepy criminals said to tell him he’s safe from them. I told them that if anything happens to him, I’d blame them and get revenge. I passed the message on, and he was freaked out and not sure what it meant, but he asked if that meant we were back together. I told him no.

I didn’t cry about it until I was alone in my dorm room.


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